I was checking my mail as usual and received an email with this ‘joke’ (well, I find it funny) about so-called facts about Malaysians.

Please take note that this is not originally written by me.

National Excuse for Hair Loss
Maggi Mee

National Excuse for Being Late
Traffic Jam

National Condom
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rush into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.

National Fruit for Inducing Menstruation
Pineapple
(Umm… sure or not?! I never knew about this)

National Aphrodisiac Drink
Stout. Many swear by it.
But after a few pints they start swearing at everything…

National Fake Illness for Getting MC
Men: Food Poisoning

Women: Menstrual Pain
(Ah.. I never use this as an excuse. I usually just say I’m having fever)

National Excuses Given When Refusing Sex
Women: Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early
appointment, period, haven’t removed make-up, haven’t had a shower, no water
supply, going to watch ‘Desperate Housewives’, depressed, no mood, etc…

Men: None. Malaysian men never refuse sex
(Haha.. This makes it sounds like Malaysian men all desperate for sex >.<)

National Cure for Headaches
Panadol. The ‘cure for all’. If it fails we have another secret weapon;
Tiger Balm.
(So true for the Panadol. Not only headache but also for fever. Sometimes of my friends don’t bother going to the doctors while having fever as they said doctors will give them Panadol as well)

National Cure for Dizziness
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

National Cause of Dizziness (For Yuppies)
Happy Hours.

National Instant Cure for Dizziness (For Yuppies)
The sight of a police roadblock.

National Rubbish Dump
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.

National Most Mis-Pronounced Name
Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!
(Have to agree on this as I have heard a lot of people pronouncing it as ‘Carry 4′. There was once I heard ‘Care Leh 4′.)

On second thought, why bother pronouncing stupid French brands like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better,when the local mechanics say ‘Pew Jeot’. When I was in school, Milo was always ‘MeeLo’, now that I’m sophisticated, I say ‘My Lo’. So don’t be embarrassed saying ‘Carry 4′ when the ! Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as ‘rangootan’.

National Roadside Distraction
The Bra-less Tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes ‘bouncing’ about on the streets.
(LOL!)